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There are some things I can explain and things I cannot. Just like everyone else. There are things I can do and things others can do. There are things others feel, things alien to me.

Things that I do not understand, maybe because I never learned how to feel those things, maybe something happened that was so emotionally fierce in fury that it burned up something inside of me. Or maybe once some time ago I passed tno a place we should not go until our time and when I came back... I lost it there.

Nonetheless I am torn by the being alone-no reationship and feeling, at times intense nee to be with someone. Sometimes the someone thing is strong lust and others it is a pinch of jealousy when others invade where I long to be. There is a disconnected jumble of puzzle peices within me but I am not sure if all the parts of the puzzle are still there.